The lost of your caring.

Is been a while i dint update my blog..because i dont have the mood to..guess it was because of the break up? i dont know? having alots of problem nowadays first i lost my girl i lost some friends lost alots of caring is been a hard time..but somehow i still miss you...whatever what have done is done i still have to move on and face more toughness infront i am trying to change myself right now to another person? maybe is just because i lost hell lots of caring? who cares nobody wants to..this days really cant sleep much and stress of the 'undang' thingy is like i sleep at 5 or 6 in the morning and wake up at 11 something? i feel tired but i really cant sleep..am i so like freaking your all or your all just dont like me to mix hang along? your all like leaving me dead behind..what did i do? anyway i found my biggest fear that kills hell lots is lonely-ness and sorrow-ness within my heart.

for the last wish..i really hope someone really care about me

i wrote your name on my heart (:

I LOVE YOU
i will keep my love for you forever and always and never let you go (:



althought i know i am a useless bastard that always make you suffer and pain..i am sorry )';

distance.

Bii i miss you so much ! )';

(currently at ipoh)

sweet kisses (:

have a wonderful day with baby ! so happy (: we watch movie , walk around , eat and dream world i just feel damn happy ! love her like crazy ! she the nicest girl i ever met ! this is why i love her so much ! and i dont know wad so addicting about my jacket? she wear the whole day and dint even take out before..haha end up bring back home somemore (:

honey i love youuu !

round and round (:

yesterday is fucking boring ! please save me ! whole day at home? all i do is just watch tv and day dreaming...can u imagine from the time u wake up untill u sleep u just watch tv and day dreaming..yeah maybe some of you guys think is fun and enjoyable but to me i can DIE ! anyway at night bii called me and talk in cantonese hahaha XD anyway remember what i tell you to ar ! dont wear white shirt (:


bii cantonese very PROOO!

can you feel? because i cant feel at all.

not i dont love you already or starting to lose feeling on you..is just you dont care and missunderstand they way i care about you do you know how much i need you when i am alone ? i been so lonely for this week maybe is a short time for you but is a long time for me but do you know ? i need you so much miss you so much..but so what ? you care ? no...you dont care...even you have free time you rather spend with your friends..i always wanted to meet you to see you if i have a chance i dont even want to lose a single chance to meet you and see you...can you dont treat me this way ? i really do love you.

i really miss you so much but you think i dont

i love you so much but you think i am just playing with your feeling.

how do i feel? nobody know and nobody care.

lying to me wont make me smile it will only make me more hurt.

your mine (:

bii i loveee you so much ! (: nobody can replace you in my heart even i kena 'buang' already from school cant see you everyday ): i miss you so much..is been a time i dint see you dint hug you dint see your face i missss you so badly darling..hope can see you soon ): i really do serious in our relationship when i say i love you means i really do ! i am yours forever muacksss!

your mine forever ! (:

love you !

fun-fill day (:

today in the morning plan to go school...but sundenlly TK appear infront without wearing school uniform and he ask me want go Quas anot? then i gatal gatal go only haha even i dont game like those freak shit gamer..after Quas went back school look for bii then go park (: wanted to give bii suprise thought she will like it but not ): but in the end she take it too (: fun fill day tho with bii at park...alot funny things happen cant tell XD


i love youuu !

rainbow appear after a stormy night.

Went ou with bii yesterday went there around 12.30? while waiting for bii i decided go meet my friends 1st at osc then saw them playing pool (i got play also la XD) half way playing bii call hehehe i know is my fault la ask you to wait at gsc but i at osc den ask you walk to tgv XD sorry lor ! nvm..i can feel that bii very cold inside the cinema so i hug her tightly..after the movie went to wong kok to eat my breakfast..after that met kawai then went walk around bii so hyper and also SHY ! saw my friends den run until dont know where already...nevermind then i join my friend lor..nothing much went play snooker then go home already..

i love you bii !

forever and always <3

please hang on )';

i am so sorry for doing this to you bii...i really very regret can you give me one more last chance?
just one more? i really need you i cant afford to lose you your my everything..but i swear ! i really did tell you everything ! i dint hide secrets from you ! somebody is trying to make us break ! she/he is lying to you..she dint hug me from the back and i dint even touch her..i just do my own stuff but no matter what i know you wont belive me..because i dissapointed you before..you have given me so many chances but i wasted it now i am so damn regret ! is fucking regret ! i really love you alot bii i dint play your feelings.



i am a idiot.

please belive me

i really do love you )';

(stress,worried and emo)

i am regret for what i've done.

i seriously wont talk to you anymore..dont cry infront of me ! dont beg me to friend with you forever ! you make me so in-trouble with my beloved bii (: lucky! my bii very kind she forgive me huh ! so! even u talk to me i dont give a damn already ! muahaha ! who ask you so smart go do stupid stuff ! serve you right ! =P

sorry bii !

i love you (:

once our story started it will never end.

i am not perfect but who is? nobody is perfect.
i'll anoy you like a physco.
piss you off until you will kill me,
say stupid stuff that make you hate me.
but put that all aside..
because you will never find a boy that cares and love you
more than me.

bii i love you so damn much!

please go and die.

now i know why people hate you alots...u deserve it! i bet you wont know why people hate you so much well let me tell you..cause you are a bitch with stupid idiotic attitude that make people so damn pissed of you!..what the fuck is wrong with you? WOW ! you know how to ask people respect you but you dont know how to respect people! you know how to angry? how about other people? they wont? you suck to the max! nobody likes you please..1go burn yourself in hell..only my girl so scared of you..isnt she good enough? you always insult her! whack her! but she still can treat you as best friend you damn lucky and you treat her like dog go here and there..seriously fuck you! waste of the world...

watch out bitch! you are gonna so dead!

today after school went ou with bii (: at 1st wanted to watch movie but we ended up walk ourself while the bitch is watching..wanted buy stuff for bii but she dont want walk here and there sit here and there play hide and seek XD until she angry somemore ): but she smile back of cause..she not small gas type 1 hot? =D...after that meet up with bitch,ly and lina went baskin robbin bii want ais-cream and we sit there and bii enjoy with lina but that bitch so kacau make me no mood at all even bii wanted to feed me..hello! dont keterlaluan please ! you are too much ! bii just give her the whole ais cream..bii know i am angry when we walking she tried to cheer me up (thanks bii) but too bad bitch i still gonna make you die like a innocent dog.

i love you bii! (:

walking alone.

i walk alone in the middle of the street i feel so lonely.
i feel like i am missing something very important to me.
i am so scared to be alone, lonely is my biggest fear.
i am so lonely.

i miss you.

your my sunshine (:

Today is normal nothing much special in school..boring shit! kinda emo at 1st nevermind i ignore it

And 1 thing i have to tell you fucktard ! if you looking for a fight ! come and get some ! i dont even scared of you who you think you are? look at the mirror please..stop using those gay way trying to make me pissed or something? tell me what have you been learning in your life through this 16 years? lifeless shit alway talk cock you seriously can talk until the sky is falling and everybody gonna belive...but sorry i dont give a damn what you talking about..come and fight me ! i am despo to fight with you since long time ago !

After school walk bii home (: and went park lepak bii mood is not so good today i try making her laugh..but i dont know am i success anot >.< have fun with bii tho (: you cheer me up all the time when i am down (: you are very cute (:

bii i love you ! <3>

fake a smile.

i always fake a smile infront of your all i tried to act nothing happen at all even that i can feel you all dislike me..i know! i can feel ok? just tell me if you all dont want me to be friends with me..dont talk behind me! dont keep secret from me! you all wont know how i feel cause your are not me..sometimes i ask myself..why? why am i such a failure?!..it doesnt mean if i know you like 9 fucking years you will treat me as your family or bestfriend..no no NO! you dont! but i do! i really treat you as my brother! but why dont you give a damn on me?..i found out that even we know each other since we were born till now..is still useless cause u dont give a damn! we have no fate to be friends? or our fate reach the maximum already? till here?..i dont know...i wish i can go back in time even i know is not gonna happen..yeah so just tell me the fact if you all dont need a friend like me..


Rui De,

we were same class since form 2 is also when i 1st transfer to bu3 but we start getting closer at form 3 cause you are a very quiet guy form 2 that always like to sit at the corner and do your own stuff draw something you like (: you have 1 close friend too..but he try to use you to get over some girl i decided to tell you instead letting you get hurt innocently..and that day we started to get closer and closer..we hang out sometimes at ou and yum cha stuff..and end of the year of form 3 i started work at ou..you always come and look for me eat lunch with me and lepak for while i really miss that moment..and form 4 now you having some part time at ou..you work after school (hardworking) and i remember 1 day i really feel so stupid and idiot i do stupid stuff that even can end our friendship..i really so sorry! i just too "chung tung'...i am so sorry bro! i damn regret after that..but you did forgive me! what can i say? thanks bro for forgiving and fucked up so called friends like me..form5 is the year we got new friends transfer to our school and same class..is also the year you started to stay further from me. sorry bro and thanks also!



TK,

9 years brother is been 9 years we been brothers for 9 fucking years..i cherish this friendship alot! is kind of funny that how we know each other...we know each other in a swimming pool and we were swimming 1 day while i swimming with my cousin's and you with your cousin's you started bully my youngest cousin 1st dude! so i whack you up on the spot..after that is alright already~kids fight only ma..next day we meet again we play together haha but 1 day you started dint come down to my house for some times..we lost contact ): but nevermind when i transfer to bu3 a year form 2 you were same class as me! i was so suprise and happy (: your a nice guy always belanja me lunch and drinks..and we even use your motorcycle and VROOOooomm! behind the school gate it was fun ! damn fun ! and till now man i still treat you as my bro (: but you are leaving me ):



Lai Yew Wei aka Ikan Bilis,

you were kind of weird when you just transfer to bu3 the last year tho..you are quiet! but just for the few days and you return to your own form already! you are a funny guy always talk joke and things that make you roll on floor laugh like a mother fucker! come on man even is 7 months! i feel like 7 years (: we are close..we share secret! he is a trustfull person tho u can share secret with him! he work at sunway pyramid (: a very berdikari person work and raise himself..he got the same childhood hobby as me! that is...watching 'mask rider' movie! hey! althought is kind of childish now..but is cool kay? i like it..we joke and laugh together alots! and i even make him kena something before so sorry bro! pls forgive me! i know you still keeping inside your heart! i know you dont trust me already..i lost your trustworthy ):

you all are gonna soon leaving me..everything is gonna blew away.

i love you all.

sadness in my eye.

i am jealous.
i am so lonely.
i am so damn sad.
i am so fucking emo.
i miss you too much.


my heart is broken and is bleeding )':

forever and always.

I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.

i love you bii <3

pissed.

hey bitch you damn fucked up 1 rite? i thought you will change but still the same shit..what wrong with you? how can you insult people without caring people feeling? how can you insult your best friend? wait..maybe she treat u as bestfriend only..nobody knows what you treat her as yours...you seriously suck to the max....

bitch,
thanks to your mom..cause your a girl.
thanks to me because i dont whack girl.

bii dont so pissed ok? i know how you feel..miss you badly ):

good or bad?

today morning i lost my phone...at 1st i feel damn fucked up but think again eh! not that bad at least i can buy new phone? XD haha after school finnaly can have time to spend with bii (: and she think she can find my weakness ?XD too bad! u got the wrong 1 muahaha ! anyway i always will remember your weakness ! haha not gonna say it out..is only for me ! =D i so damn freaking love you bii ! i miss your huggies ! muacks !


i love you.

bleeding love.

i need you
i miss you
i love you

where are you?
i cant feel you
i am so numb.

the street is getting darker and darker.

i feel so lonely without you by my side..i think of you every day and night
i cant belive that my feeling for you is deeper than i thought,,i love you
i really need you by my side..how can i live without you?
i would die without you..i miss you so badly..

i love you & i miss you

heart cracking.

my heart is cracking slowly..i think of you every day every hour every minuite every second is been some time we dint get to have some time together i feel so lonely without you by my side
why are you doing this to me? i love you so much....friends are more important to you but to me you are the most important in my life i cant live without you i cant afford to lose you..can you feel me?

emo shit .

Fucking bored.

nowadays are fucking bored wei..everyday the same! school home sleep..ish! and today stupid lala birthday...throw cake at my face mcb! smelly shit rush home and bath..then here i am..bii why you cant stayback wor? i miss you la ):


i miss you badly! ):

Happy Birthday Isabelle!

so last night was isabelle birthday (: have some fun even thought i was late haha...cause friends got problem at malam bakat lucky we manage to escape the police smart huh? ...haha so my friend drop me down at curve...and then we party till around 1am? on the way home i called bii (: ask her to online..we chit chat until 3am only sleep haha! ...and 10 am in the morning she morning call me we chat on the phone for while...after that she went off eat her breakfast..and i go back to sleep! till 2pm XD and so gona stay home whole day.. (:

get a life.

well yesterday night watched transformer not bad la..after that wen home around 1am?..then wake up at 10am cause mom want me to get my new ic...after ic thing went to some temple at petaling street..so all i do this morning is get my new ic taxi walk and wait! while i having my lunch then tiara (: she ask me am i goin scarlet tonight?! i was like shit! is isabelle birthday?...ouh then okay la i see how la..(of cause i want to go wei..its been so long i dint go club) and i think i goin at night la...so now i am thinking what my mom gona bug me about..when i say i want to go out tonight i am preparing for the bla bla bla start haha!...and please la! i cant stay at home so long 1! will self explode by boring-ness wei..thats why SOMEBODY always say ' your ass is it got something sharp? why cant you stay at home like me? i so guai..' hahaha because i am a out-going social person! thats why...


i miss you bii.

wonderful day.

even thought today at school was kinda boring..so sleep during last period..but that stupid RAGUNATHAN! banging that stupid table and noisy like fuck..nevermind he wake me up anyway..after school when ou with bii (: and watched ais age again! because of you ruthlene ==..haha then walk awhile..bii want aiscream so she bought it and feed me (: the taste is weird but is also sweet! i love you!

take care.

Numb.

i really can feel anything from you already
can you dont give me this kind of feel?
i feel so numb.

all i can feel from you is avoid and i hate this kind of feeling.

stupid people do stupid things.

actually if you want something from me come and get it..what for those stupid things? write other people name on the wall bitch or slut or whatever..do you think this kinda thing is very fun? try think back..how if other people write your name on it for no reason? do you like it? i guess is a NO rite? so dont do it again is a very stupid act.


you dissapointed me and i'll never gonna give a damn on you.

why dont you belive me?

once i say i love you i really do and i mean it..
but why dont u trust me?
do you know how i feel?
can u feel the love from me?
can you be there for me when i need you?
althought i know sometimes i make you dissapointed or hard to belive me..i feel so sorry
but what can i do? i have already tried my best.

i just love the way you are.

Tattoo.

i am so gona do this after spm (:

P.S. this is my 1st time blogging dont blame me.